Observations of a Traveling Salesman: A Few of My Favorite Things

By: Steven Moore, CIS Director of Business Development
stevenmoore@cis-partners.com

I love Business Development. I love getting out there and meeting new people on a weekly basis. I love presenting, and interacting with both clients and potential clients alike. I love providing compliance solutions that help clients protect their growth for years and years to come. But being on the road does have its humorous and, quite honestly, annoying side. Hey, you can’t have it all! So, in the spirit of The Sound of Music, here are a few of my favorite things:

Conference calls on the road. Besides the constant annoyance for those on the call with the ‘whirring’ of cars and other noises from the road, it’s IMPOSSIBLE to get a word in and, when you do, it’s as if you’ve channeled Darth Vader. Blue Tooth devices have been a savior for this part of being on the road, but it’s another toy to play with while you’re trying to drive. I had to laugh to myself the other day when I realized that I had operating --- at the same time --- the following: Garmin Navigation System, iPod, Cell Phone, Blue Tooth, Phone charger, and Automobile. I’m thinking final component in this series should get a bit more attention. Anyone else? So I can type in navigation directions, email, text, surf the internet, pick a playlist from my iPod, charge my phone, make a call, operate my blue tooth and, oh yeah, DRIVE A CAR! I drive a red HHR folks. Stay away. You can usually spot me at a Rest Stop.

Eating on the road. Not a great recipe for health. I recently went to client lunch at Red Robin with these brilliant aspirations that I was going to find something healthy and stick with my new OLC (“Operation Lifestyle Change” for those of you playing along at home --- this is an article for another day). So I scanned the menu and realized that Red Robin could be the last remaining establishment on the face of the Earth without a single healthy thing (salads don’t count because, well, I would only order a Chicken Caesar and a Chicken Caesar is like a safe cigarette. You think you’re being healthy but you’re clearly not.) I also just recently ate a lunch from 7-11. I then stopped at a Rest Stop again.

Rest stops. Remarkable places, really. I mean, who doesn’t love ‘people watching’ . Every time I stop along some road, I marvel at the diversity of the people at EVERY rest stop. Chinese, Indian, Black, White, Brown, Purple… It’s America in a nutshell! I’ve also seen some of the most fascinating individuals at rest stops…but we won’t go there. I have to ask: Where do they all come from? And, perhaps most importantly, where are these people going?

Peeing on the road. Well, not on the road... most times. When you’re trying to make it to a meeting and are amped (GP pun intended) up on 6 cups of coffee, your bladder begins to yell at you to pull over at every available rest stop. I was recently on a two hour trip to North Jersey (which is the best for rest stops because the NJ Turnpike has about 4,000) and stopped 3 times to pee. I highly recommend the Joyce Kilmer Rest Stop as it usually has lighter traffic and shorter lines than the Walt Whitman --- of course, that is if you can hold it on your way North. Three stops for a two hour trip is a lot of stops for anyone --- let alone a 29 year old. All I can say is that Boehringer Ingelheim could make some good money marketing FloMax to future prospects like this guy.

The Airport Security Line. I’m a big believer in getting places early but, inevitably, I get to the airport too early. I hate the thought having to run through the airport and potentially miss a flight for an important meeting. That being said, the whole Airport Security thing is quite a hassle. I remember the days of throwing some stuff into a tray and walking through the scanner relatively simply. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m ALL about security, especially in the wake of some of the awful events of recent past and the current global situation, but I never thought I’d have to get naked to get on a plane. First it was the belt, then my sport jacket, then the shoes (thanks shoe-bomber guy). The ladies, of course, like it when I go through security but, as you all know, I’m a shy guy. Then there’s this whole liquid thing. It has to be less than 3oz and has to be in clear zip lock bag --- but not just any kind --- it has to be the smaller kind. I recently forgot that I had put a full Vitamin Water in my bag and got through security and they asked if they should throw it away or if I wanted it. I had time, so I took the Vitamin Water back --- chugged it --- and got naked again to go through security. Take that, The Man. Of course I then had to pee 4 times on the plane ride…

There you have it --- a few things that make road trips that much more enjoyable. So when I show up at your place next time, know that I’m well fed, fully clothed, and that I avoided any accidents in the entertainment center that is my car. I may, however, ask to use your restroom.

For Your Space,
Steven.
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