My IIR MDRP 2009 Recap: “30 is the new 74…”

By: Steven Moore, CIS Director of Business Development
stevenmoore@cis-partners.com

Sunday, 1:46PM: Headed to the airport with my wife driving and realizing that leaving on a Sunday during football time on a 75 degree sunny day is the equivalent of a root canal with no Novocain.

Sunday, 2:09PM: Go through security; get virtually naked, some ladies scream, blah, blah, blah. This travel thing does get old sometimes…

Sunday, 2:13PM: I spot Clarissa Crain and realize that my feelings about leaving on a Sunday are bettered by her feelings. The look on her face made me certain that only allowing butter knives on the other side of security is, in fact, a good thing for more than just the obvious reasons.

Sunday, 3:20PM: “Because I’m leavin’ on a jet plane…”

Sunday, 4:17PM: Arrive in Chicago and text and call my wife, check all the football scores and my fantasy team (which stinks), prove the Pythagorean Theorem and look up some good restaurants in Chicago --- all before we get to the gate. Say what you will, technology is amazing.

Sunday, 4:46PM: Pass Soldier Field and can see that it’s packed for the Bears – Steelers game. I realize that my aforementioned root canal continues as it is one heck of a game shaping up. I’m in Chicago --- so Go Bears! Oh wait, my boss is a Steelers fan.

Go Bears!

Sunday, 5:21PM: Unpack as fast as I’ve ever unpacked and sprint to the bar to watch the end of a great football game (of course after reviewing my emails and studying the new HR 3200 bill). The GP Homecoming begins and I enjoy some football with some good friends. The drill is out of the dentist’s hands…

Sunday, 10:00PM: After dinner diet sodas with some clients...

Sunday, 11:20PM: Some clients/competitors go out and I decide that 30 is the new 74 and call it an early night. I am subsequently mocked --- and then receive multiple text messages that question my manhood. I would much prefer to watch the end of the Giants – Cowboys game with GP Practice Lead Chris Cobourn in our room.

I applaud CIS for room sharing, but I’m not sure about the lone King Bed.

Monday, 1:00PM: (Yes, nothing really happened before that). Booth set up. Insert {expletive} here.

Monday, 6:00PM: Dinner with a big group. I proceed to explain the ‘waves’ to our table and realize that, at age 30 and after last night’s performance, that I might be slowly be becoming a 2nd waiver (this doesn’t last --- trust me).

Monday, 7:54PM: I finish my steak and then help finish one of my favorite client’s and my ‘twin’s’ steak. “CIS: we’ll even eat your leftovers.”

Monday, 9:34PM: Watching my favorite team, the Miami Dolphins, play the Indianapolis Colts on Monday Night Football --- with friends from Indianapolis.

Monday, 11:11PM (make a wish): One of my friends from Indianapolis quietly leaves the table, returns with a Peyton Manning jersey and the Dolphins proceed to blow the game.

Monday 11:12PM: I cry for the first time since watching “Ghost.” (Shout out to Patrick Swayze.) Hootie’s line, “I’m such a baby, yeah, the Dolphin’s make me cry” encapsulates me. Okay, for the record, I just really wanted to show up and use the word ‘encapsulate’ in a sentence. For those of you who don’t know who Hootie is or what I’m talking about, you haven’t lived.

Tuesday, 8:15AM: Tom Daschle, keynote speaker for the conference is on. I have a client call.

Tuesday, 9:30AM: Alice Valder Curran from Hogan & Hartson speaks. I have a client call.
For those of you outside the industry and our space, let me make a comparison of what just happened to me in a couple of ways:

Missing Tom & Alice speak is like missing Phil Mickelson and Tiger Woods tee off in succession.

…or missing Mickey and Minnie at Disney World.

Tuesday, 10:15AM (Networking Break): “Hi, are you familiar with CIS and our services.” “Hi, are you familiar with CIS and our services.” “Hi, are you familiar with CIS and our services.” “Hi, are you familiar with CIS and our services.” “Hi, are you familiar with CIS and our services.” “Hi, are you familiar with CIS and our services.” “Hi, are you familiar with CIS and our services.” “Hi, are you familiar with CIS and our services.”

Tuesday, 12:15PM: Lunch and it’s not ‘Conference Chicken’. For those of you unfamiliar with ‘Conference Chicken’, consider yourselves lucky. It’s not chicken, it’s flavored polyethylene.

Tuesday, 5:00PM: The Cocktail Hour begins. It might just be me, but it seems the wine is really flowing for a couple of folks…

Tuesday, 6:30PM: Dinner at Volare --- and it’s dang good! By the end, our table is playing ‘stack the wine corks’ and Chris Cobourn breaks the record with a total of 5 stacked one upon the other. I know what you’re thinking and you’re wrong. Much like the waiting room of a Pediatrician’s office, Chris asked for something to play with as we waited in between appetizers, dinner, desserts, etc. and they supplied us with 6 or so wine corks.

If you believe this, I have some air to sell you…

Tuesday, 8:45PM – 1:30AM: Drinks at the hotel bar followed by the 3rd waivers conspiring to go out. I gladly oblige and head to the rest room as I am told, “We’ll wait for you by the cab.” I return to the lobby and nobody I was leaving with is inside or outside, so I take the cab out to the agreed upon destination. I get to said destination and nobody I know is there. I finally reach CIS’ Chrissy Spicer via phone and nobody ever left the hotel. Sweet.

Tuesday, 12:21AM: During my cab ride, I learn that my driver is from Afghanistan and can’t stop talking about how much he loves America even though he lost 4 family members in a bombing prior to coming here. Let’s take a moment and think about our brave troops and what they’re doing and trying to preserve --- and, no matter how you slice it, how awesome our country and freedom truly are.

(Seriousness ‘off’)

Wednesday, 12:40PM: Clarissa Crain, Chrissy Spicer and I survive the most amazing cab ride to Midway as the cab driver drove over the curb TWICE to get us there and during the second time screamed, “Yeah Baby” while honking his horn. Upon arrival at the terminal he seriously (God as my witness) almost took out a TSA agent…and continued laughing as if we were on Space Mountain in Disney World. I turn to Clarissa and Chrissy and say, “Do you think that my wife will believe the reason I look so tired and worn out was actually the cab ride and not nights out dancing and drinking diet soda?”

Wednesday, 12:41PM: I clean out my shorts.

Wednesday, 1:01PM: I get two gigantic slices of Chicago style pizza to fulfill this aching need to eat grease. I’m only able to finish 1 and a half and realize that it might not have been the smartest move with 2 and half our plane ride ahead.

Wednesday, 2:15PM: Our Southwest Flight Attendant says, during his pre-takeoff gig (paraphrased):

Smoking is not allowed on the plane at any time, but should you choose to do so, I can guarantee the following three things:
1. I will be forced to use the “F” word, as in “Felony”.
2. The FBI will come on the plane and drag you out while we all point and laugh.
3. You will be sent to prison in an orange jumpsuit and put in a cell with a man named Bubba who will definitely think you’re pretty.

Wednesday, 2:17PM: Southwest gets a second nod here as the Flight Attendant says: “Please start by affixing your mask first followed by the child whom you believe has the best chance of putting you in a good retirement home. I know someone who didn’t pick the right child once and they ended up in Jersey.”

Wednesday, 2:17PM: And a 3rd nod as he comes on and says, “We’re currently in a holding pattern for about 20 minutes or so, which shouldn’t be too bad considering once we land in Philadelphia, it should take about 6-8 days to taxi to the gate.” Not sure which reputation is worse: Philadelphia’s Eagle fans or her Airport?

Wednesday, 5:43PM: I see my wife and all in my world is right.

To all my friends new and old, thank you for another great conference!

For Your Space,
Steven