By Steven P. Moore, Director, Business Development
8:20AM: As an amateur meteorologist and admitted snowstorm aficionado, I was happy and proud to proclaim 2’ of snow in Philly last Tuesday. Now my excitement has turned to concern as another potentially significant storm could drop 12” or more snow on Tuesday and Wednesday. I’m no math major, but with 28.5” on the ground in Philly, that’s like 80”. Crazy.
6:20PM: Hearing the ‘Walter Payton Award’ reminds me that I’m old enough to remember the original Super Bowl Shuffle in 1985. Man, I’m old. And I just ticked off a lot of people.
6:21PM: The National Anthem. B. Michael Jackson’s, uh, Carrie Underwood’s outfit. D-.
6:25PM: Dwight Howard and LeBron James renew the Michael Jordan and Larry Bird McDonald’s “nothing but net” commercials and say “Who’s that?” when Larry Bird shows up. That’s like a rookie golfer seeing Jack Nicklaus and asking the same question. Or, for those who are not golf fans, it’s like a new member of the Jersey Shore seeing “The Situation” and asking the same questions. C+ because the dunks were amazing --- with the potential for higher grades if the commercial ‘evolves’ throughout the game.
6:27PM: Heads. Sweet.
6:28PM: Calling Colts 31-28. Ask my wife if this actually happens.
6:34PM: Doritos. Dog takes off his collar --- puts it on his owner, then barks in order to shock his owner. I wasn’t a huge fan but my sister Allyson (shout out Ally!) texted me and said that everyone laughed where she was… so I’ll give it a B+!
6:35PM: The Saints punt. Is that the first time their punter had to kick it away this year?
6:42PM: Bud Light house commercial. C+. Were it Guinness or Dirty Martinis. A.
6:43PM: Betty White commercial from Snickers. B+ because that guy drilled her and then, when back in the huddle, the guy says, “C’mon, you’re playing like Betty White!!!”
6:45PM: Super Bowl Shuffle commercial from Boost. I absolutely have to give it an A because Jim McMahon came out on, wait for it, A SCOOTER!!!!! The Pharma Compliance Blog has apparently gone viral…
6:52PM: Russell Crowe in Robin Hood. I’m in. Of course when it comes out On Demand. What? Going to the movies is expensive!
6:53PM: Doritos kid slaps his Mom’s date and says, “Keep your hands off my Doritos and keep your hands off my momma.” C. Predictable. If he kicked him in the groin I may have given it a C+.
7:02: Colts 10-0. Dang Peyton looks good. What a throw to Garcon!
7:03PM : Coke and The Simpsons. Year after year Coke just gets it. Amazing. They have few comparators. A.
7:04PM: GoDaddy.com. They should try and use sex a bit more in their ads. I heard it sells. C-.
7:05PM: Doritos ‘playing dead’ commercial. Their 3rd commercial that has not been very good in my opinion… C. How much time does creative have to spend millions?
7:07PM: Monster.com. Groundhogs can’t play the violin. They can only predict whether there will be 6 more weeks of winter. At our pace in the Northeast, there will be 18 more weeks of winter… Did I mention there’s another foot or more coming to Baltimore and Philly. What the heck would 50” of snow look like???
7:12PM: Jabari Greer is hurt and my wife and I realize that we’ve lost yet another name choice for our first born son. First it was Plaxico, then it was Anquan. Now Jabari. The curse continues.
7:18PM: Budweiser Human Bridge Commercial. B because there was ANOTHER shot of a guy on a SCOOTER!!! Were it a Guiness or Dirty Martini truck. A.
7:20PM: “Hi. I’m Mark Sanchez and this message is to all the women out there. Peyton Manning owned us.”
7:21PM: CareerBuilder.com Casual Fridays commercial with everyone in their underwear followed by a group of grown men singing ‘I Wear No Pants’ while marching in their underwear. A combined C- for way too many unattractive people in their skivvies.
7:21PM and 6 seconds: My wife and I turn to each other and immediately break out in song: “Pants on the ground, pants on the ground, lookin’ like a fool with your pants on the ground. With the gold in yo mouth, hat turned sideways pants at the ground. Call yourself a cool cat lookin’ like a fool, walkin’ downtown with your pants on the ground. Get up, hey, get your pants off the ground, lookin’ like a fool, walkin’ talkin’ with your pants on the ground. Get up, hey, get your pants off the ground, lookin’ like a fool with your pants on the ground.”
7:23PM: Brett Favre at 50 years old and the 2020 MVP by Hyundai. 2010: I’m retiring. I’m not retiring. 2011: I’m retiring. I’m not retiring. 2012: I’m retiring. I’m not retiring. 2013: I’m retiring. I’m not retiring. 2014: I’m retiring. I’m not retiring. 2015: I’m retiring. I’m not retiring. 2016: I’m retiring. I’m not retiring. 2017: I’m retiring. I’m not retiring. 2018: I’m retiring. I’m not retiring. 2019: I’m retiring. I’m not retiring. I just wanted you to feel what it would be like if we actually had to live through that. I just threw up.
7:25PM: Dove for Men, eh Really? This is much like Old Spice for women or after shave for your legs. Good luck with that Dove.
7:36AM: Dodge Charger: Man’s Last Stand. And here I thought my Scooter was getting the ladies all excited! By the way, I’m looking into snow tires for my Scooter…
7:41PM: Alice in Wonderland. Does Johnny Depp ever play a normal human. Edward Scissorhands, Willy Wonka, Jack Sparrow and now this… He won Sexiest Man Alive and no one even knows what he really looks like. That’s impressive…
7:42PM: Punxutawney Polamalu sees his shadow. Man, missing the playoffs makes you desperate during the offseason. (My boss is a big Steelers fan and I can email you my resume if you’d like…)
7:43PM: The Saints go for it on 4th down and do not get it. Calling Bill Bellichik…
7:52PM: 10-6 Colts at the half. Nice first half but not nearly as high scoring as I predicted. Look forward to a high scoring and high flying 2nd half --- or course after I get to hear The Who. I wonder if they will they come out on Scooters? How about the NFL books something current like Green Day, John Mayer or General Larry Platt?
8:07PM: The Who is rockin’. Seriously. I take back my comment from 7:52 but still would have liked to see The General perform Pants on the Ground live! “It’s only Teenage Wasteland!” I’m singing aloud and my wife is not appreciative… Wait a second…are they lip synching?????
8:21PM: Sean Peyton. Go for it on 4th down at the 1 yard line. Fail. Onside kick to start the 2nd half. Pass. The man is fearless. Or crazy. I’m still not sure. 13-10 Saints!
8:29PM: Punch Buggy commercial --- I like it but I HATE Volkswagen. C.
8:31PM: CBS: Call Barney Stinson. Legend --- wait for it --- ary.
8:38PM: Peyton Manning goes right back down the field dissecting the Saints defense. A shot of the Manning family up in their private booth. Giants fans throw objects…
8:43PM: New E*Trade baby. I was skeptical because I loved the old baby --- and his buddy Benny with the golden pipes, “Take, these broken wings…”. However, that was hilarious. “Was that Milkaholic Lindsey over?” “Milkawhat.” A+. I laughed my arse off…
8:52PM: Oh my God. Google doesn’t even need to advertise --- have they ever? That commercial was absolutely incredible. I’m giving it the very first A++ in my Super Bowl Glog history. No damn wonder they’ve been able to do what they’ve done. That was beyond smart. Wow. Remember that KGB Sumo Wrestling commercial anymore? I didn’t think so…
8:59: Budweiser 55. At what number of calories does a beer cease to be a beer and become a flavored water? That’s become a contest between beer companies these days. It’s like someone coming out with “7 Minute Abs.”
9:25PM: Saints grab the lead!!! What a game!!! 2 point conversion fails. 22-17. Wait --- overturned! 24-17!
9:34PM: Budweiser Clydesdale and the baby steer Forrest Gump take off… Nice! B+.
9:48PM: Congrats to the New Orleans Saints! 31-17 victors. All kidding aside, it’s a great story for a city with some seriously tough circumstances the past few years!
For Your Space,